Peanuts.

Pappy, the pansy. A peanut was he,
Always hung by his paletot, long as can be.
With a palaceous head he'd prance around town,
In his peanut palanquin, so safe and so sound.

Pappy, a peanut so happy was he,
People made him pallid, so shy and so meek.
Yet Pappy did palaver, with near and dear,
But with 'em outside folk, he'd be the master at palter.

Pappy never popped out of his peanut palace,
Lest should he trip o'er his morals or got little callous.
For no panglossian was our little Pappy,
Pappy pessimist peanut was he.

Yet Pappy wore a smile for every other nut,
And every other nut just called him a nut.
Pappy pranced around town, his own town,
A paradisaical world in which he'd grown.

Pappy the peanut grew paralogisic,
As Pappy began to ponder o'er much more than he bit.
Pappy pillaged his mind full of pilfered thought,
Rarely were they paregoric, more painful than not.

So Pappy the peanut, would just pandiculate each night,
Pop the plethora of pyknic thoughts with spite,
Sleep, his panacea, put him in pride opulent,
As a might platoon, pyrrhic o'er their opponents.

Pappy, the pansy. Still a peanut is he,

Still clutching his paletot, forever with glee.

Aaj Ki Taaza Khabar: UP's re-naamkaran

In a landmark move to restore the landmark names of UP landmarks, Akhilesh Yadav, the current face of Uttar Pradesh, has decided that after his successful venture in getting all the Mayawati-ish named districts renamed, he will take the step further to change all that reminds him of her. In a heart-felt confession to our special correspondent, Yadav elaborated on the strained relation he shared with the ex-CM and how its ending fueled him to wipe his slate.. and state clean of her.
According to sources the CM is going to ban all elephants, and their statues in the state unless depicted, or in real, riding a cycle.

This is how elephants must be seen in the state of UP from now.

This is not the first time UP heads have taken the phrase "a step backwards" way too seriously; while far from all the promises of change doled out during campaigns, this is certainly a step-backwards forward.

#Aaj_Ki_Taaza_Khabar

Antibiotics!

I was a good boy, i did all the things right,
But this night I speak of brought to me, quite a fright!

I went to classes, took ALL the notes,
Not even a blink I'd miss,
Yet just one day prior to my test,
I had a vision and it wasn't bliss.

Yes 'twas just a day prior, I had this vision strange,
Realized it was not a vision, my eyes were hot, deranged!
Put a palm to the head, it jumped right off my face,
Oh my god! You have viral! A viral! It says.

No! Please no! Not today, I did plead,
Yet my temple, hot as lava, didn't heed.
Fever fever go away!
Come again another day!?
Little me has an exam today,
So fever can't you see my state?

"Hah. Suffer mortal, now I'm your master,
Thank you for all that cold water,
I know I'm evil, and soon you'll be reeling,
But hey man! Seriously, no hard feelings."

Ok, huh.. wait, you talk!? You're my fever!
"I'm in your head nut! Ah, love the warmth in here!"
Come on  man! I've studied a lot, two hours or more,
I did questions, theory, concentrated with every pore!
I let you stay every time, you know it! Show gratitude!
"Hey! I give the orders here, and I don't like your attitude!"

Friends popped in, take pills! They said,
No it'll pass, let me talk to it; I plead,
They roared with laughter upon those words I uttered,
"He's loosing it! He's seeing things! He's flustered!"
Okay, tell you guys what, give me just that one pill,
If it bothers me too much, or lingers, take it I will.

"Alright man, though faster you take it, more time it'll get!"
For what? I wondered aloud,
"Oh negotiations, you see. A talking fever's a hard nut,
If the pill doesn't get time, how will it talk it out?"

All the roaring legs did depart, as I sat holding the pill,
To eat or not to eat it? That was the question still.
"Don't do it! That rascal's an annoying thing!
A whole army of talkative nonsense with him, he brings!
Fed with all they speak in some hi-end lab,
He goes on and on, so boring, so drab!"

Oh, is that so? I see the tables suddenly turned,
So now you'll do as I say, your plans are spurned!
Recede or the pill it is! Cool my head to what it was!
I'm warning you, no more Mr. Good Guy for your arse!

"Give me you best! I've grown strong over the years,
He might be a bore, my nemesis! Today he'll return in tears!"
As you shall have it, dear fever. Death, it is.
I gave you a chance, you shall not be missed.
"Bah.. You'll see! You'll all see! With the break of dawn,
A renaissance, a.. a.. wait, where's the pill!?" Down my throat, it gone!
"No! Wait! I have to finish my speech! Wait, no! I'm evil! I will prevail!
The hell do I see? That's him! No! Why's he bigger?! Like a friggin whale!"
Goodnight fever, I give you till tomorrow morning to let me be,
Or many more like him, you'll be pretty sure to see!

"This is not over! Don't you close your eyes! I'll get you,
We'll see who wakes up to what, whether human wins or blues!"
Yeah yeah, enough banter, now off I doze,
Happy dreams, oh wait! You'll not be having those! :D

Phoochka Tales

They make you salivate, they have their way with your taste buds, they have all these funny names depending on where you are, they know their way around your stomach juices, they can make you sweat, they can make you beg, they can make you steal and they can make you lie in bed for days; but they're just awesome. The most awesome-est, favorite-est, mind-numbingly-tastiest street food I've ever known, lives up and more; to all the superlatives that'll make the stingy Grammar Nazis cringe. The gol-guppa, the pani-puri, the puchka, the gup chup, the paani ke bataashe, the palodi! The god of street foods, like it's spiritual counterpart, comes in many names yet essentially that one supreme form. All hail;

From the swanky streets of Khan Market, to the common corridors of Bengali Sweets and Haldirams, these things are everywhere! Spreading their tang, and rejuvenating bored taste-buds; these watery delights made their humble beginnings from the southern region of Bihar, erstwhile Magadh. This simple and cheap snack is essentially a concoction of spicy water, flour, chickpeas, and (as almost every Northern recipe dictates) aloo-pyaaz. Just thinking of them makes my mind and mouth water.

Traditions are a commonplace for almost everything in India, and food; leads the pack. My favorite is the Bengali way to roll, or phooch their phoochkas. Trust 'em Bongs to make something; that tastes good, into awesome.. and then name it by the sound it makes when you eat it. They add it ALL! Mashed potatoes, pepper, black salt, spices, tamarind pulp, and what not.  Leave out the onion part, and you have what is a ceremonious king of snacks in Bengal. Not far, in Jamshedpur the folks add a liberal dose of chole to the mix and savor the treat.
Lucknow, and surrounding regions take presentation to the next ladle(!) While the classic ingredients maintain their stand, locals serve the Paani ke Bataashe with a variety of spiced water and stuffing. Dozens of stuffed Bataashe served on a platter with a whole other dozen Paani varieties makes for them to be the Bataashe of everyone's eye!

While the whole thing about these snacks to be delicious and all is true, what stands to question is the matter of health, and hygiene. Excuse my poor biology, and medicine knowledge (and hence the inability to name any actual diseases) but the poor conditions in which most of these Pooris are prepared; harbor an insanely large number of err.. stomach related diseases. Yet, the doctor in me says a few nights in the loo is always worth the awesomeness of the oh so wonderful phoochkas elegantly playing dandiya with my tongue.
To sum it all up, Pani Puri in mouth = Mind Blown. Go out and grab a plate now, give your buds the adventure the deserve.
Thus I rest my case quoting Shakespeare totally out-of-context; "We should be woo'd, and were not made to woo." Let the king of snacks do its job. ;)

... for the minorities within the minoroties!