Justin Bieber Hits Puberty

Teenage prodigal singer, Justin Bieber, whose music turned the music industry upon its head and made it do flip-flops, recently shot into limelight, AGAIN. The child star, turned child singer, on Tuesday reportedly cracked his voice during practice. The incident took place just as Bieber was screaming on encountering a rodent under his bed and jumping and flailing his arms helplessly on his bed, an eyewitness reports.
Bieber, the Canadian born Canadian groomed blonde, who shot to fame after wooing chics by dancing in bowling alleys, is believed to change the colour of his hair depending on his emotion and mood. It is still unclear why his hair was crimson red hours after the incident. As anonymous reports have it, Bieber was enjoying a quiet time alone in his room when suddenly there were shrill screams heard from the room. “At first everyone believed him to be just practicing for his upcoming show. And then IT HAPPENED! we all heard the voice crack! it could not be missed, like thunder on an empty meadow!”, in the words of Bieber’s BFF (<3 <3 Mwah Mwah) , Ciley Myrus, on the condition of anonymity.
The reports remain unconfirmed and despite many efforts, no contact was established with the child prodigy as some chirpy crackle voiced kid kept answering his home phone, claiming to be the bieber.
International markets fell as the news broke, on account of fear of D-Day having arrived now that this incident took place. “I wanted to spend my last few hours living my dreams. My 5 month old daughter loved Bieber. I hate him now, couldn’t he have waited till she atleast had HER first love?!” said, Cycle Braun, a distraught broker.
The news was well received by hoteliers worldwide as they could now maybe render their glass doors safe for use after these drew heavy criticism after successive bieber-bumps. The news is drawing mixed responses from the huge fan base of Justin Bieber as most of them decided to make this the theme of their next pride parade. In the words of Sunuva Dalal, a Shakespearean Bieber fan, “We were all happy and gay as ever.”.
Analysts the world over launched into heated debates over the possibility of Bieber finally opting for a haircut as he might start sprouting it elsewhere now. Though it is unclear how successful he might be without his much loved girl-ish voice and girl-ish antics coupled with his highly girl-ish looks that gave the audience the complete package. It is reported that scientists in Canada are working on a elixir that could keep the puberty from advancing any further in Bieber. The world over people prayed for these small bunch of smart-asses from Canada to hit success before Bieber hits any more of puberty.

Pamela Arrival A Real Boost For Big Boss

******** Pre requisite:MUST Read http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/entertainment/tv-/Pamela-boosts-Bigg-Boss-4-TRPs/articleshow/6952967.cms *************

Pamela Anderson made her first appearance on Indian television on the reality show, aptly titled for her appearance, BIG BOSS this Thursday. Pamela Anderson can be remembered from the series Baywatch on television, which created an arousing amongst other things on Indian television. With the star’s entry, the TRPs of the show have touched a new high. There are rumours of some random people having a heated argument that also contributed to the TRPs, but the presence of THE Pamela Anderson ipso facto played these down.
These were two sensational developments (which had nothing to do with the male inhabitants of the house Pamela is living in) . The show ended up with a never before heard rating of 69! According to data provided by Ajab gazab, whose mohulla gathers daily to catch the episodes of Big Boss. According to the head of Colors and Imagine,  the channels airing the show, “Having Pamela gives us immense pleasure, as it always has. I believe i speak for every Indian, when i say that we owe her one!”.
Anderson, popular for her big smile and gentle-womanly attitude, was supposed to be on the show for three days but reports (such as this one) have it that she might hang around a little longer to get the “full feel” of India. On the first day she looked anything but herself, goaded with traditional Indian wear with a Pamela touch up (rather cut-down) to the blouse area. Authorities could not spot Pamela immediately under the multitude of clothes she was buried under, very uncharacteristic of her. She wore bangles and jhumkas apart from a malnourished skinny beggar to add the Indian touch!
Given the fact that she took her own sweet time to arrive at the sets, some random Indians (supposedly also part of the show, we did not bother to confirm) decided to spice up the atmosphere with some traditional Saas Bahu antics on the stage. But this plan backfired as the authorities got pissed when the two duellers started stealing the thunder from the Pamela visit. Both the vandals were evicted.
The 43 year old generated a lot of excitement amongst the contestants of Big Boss, as she greeted everyone with a namaste and smiled even as the female inhabitants hurled abuses at her, she was not moved.
With the arrival of Pamela Anderson, Big Boss came under the scanner of Ministry of Information and Broadcating, with officials flocking to do work overtime and do nightshifts just to catch the show and spot the adult content, and also report it later. The ministry directed the channels to push the program into the night to facilitate after office viewing, following complaints of vulgarity.
Colors and Imagine TV moved the court against the order, saying that the ministry brought this upon themselves. The head said,” The ministry should have seen this coming given we registered by the name COLORS and IMAGINE. It is only natural that we show COLORFUL content and spur the viewers IMAGINATION. We cannot be blamed now for the ministry’s short sightedness.” As a fallout, Pamela will still be seen strutting around in bedsheets and/or towels, trying to learn how to say “aap ka naam kya hai”. Our take? we feel she must first learn saying at least that in English! (before proceeding to bed that is)

The World That Was Not

She used to be the centre of attention. And she loved it.
The yesteryears had been tough on her. Living in a shell, she was almost used to herself being alone. She would relish moments away from people, from the noise-mongers, from those who chose to trade their inner voice for a thousand phony ones that would always pamper and stroke their faulty ego. She was proud. Not being one of the attention seekers was something she prized. They called her a loon, a social-recluse! But she did not care. A place, a world of her own she did create. And a million copies of herself, each carrying a single thought of hers! A creative wonderland! They called her lonely! But she denied that. This was not loneliness, it was SOLITUDE!
She WAS the centre of attention, and LOVED it!
Yet life was tough on her. She never really understood why. Why was it, that at times she felt this pang in her stomach? an occasional feeling of emptiness? Even though she drifted into her world, her thoughts would only manifest themselves into dark, hollow eyed, nothings! She hated these phases. Tears would seem to push their way through the corner of her eye, and overpower her vain attempts to hold them back! They would run freestyle, cheering along the depressing outline of her face. Tears, rolling happily down, doing somersaults along the edges of her lips, frowning.
Where were HER prized friends now? She hated them, this instant! There arose a conflict in her head. Amongst the emptiness that previously filled that space, this conflict grew on her. Whom was she fighting here? Was it the dark side of the world she was so fond of? or was it her? She had no answer. And the emptiness that was ruling over her also offered no clues.
This was her. a few years ago. This was her, in her last life.
Things had changed now. She had long broken up with Recluse, apart from many a boy, since then. She was NOW, exactly what she hated THEN. And still she felt no pangs. They loved her. She loved being loved. She got used to her new life. With people around at all times, it was like living her dream. A dream that had risen from the ashes of another that suffered a painful death, long ago. Her inner voice, trampled by the volume of the millions that now flooded her previously dogged head! She knew her mistake. She knew she was wrong before. Wrong about loneliness, wrong about solitude!
Then one day it happened! Déjà-vu. This time these were not alien territories, she knew this place. It was one she had created and destroyed long ago! Her favourite haunt now haunted her. This time her friends came for her. This time they offered her solace, offered her happy thoughts. And it lit up the dark world she was irked of! But now a new conflict took roots in her head. She was in a brighter world alright, but she was in crutches. She could not walk in this world by herself. If support eluded her, she fell back into the deep chasm of nothingness. She had become dependent! Overly dependent on others to live her life. Despite the world brimming with happiness, this thought spread like the light in her head.
Autophobia, Eremophobia, Monophobia, all meant nothing to her. Yet they all defined her. The fear of loneliness is one that has no definitive and permanent cure. This fear is often compounded by the natural desire to connect with others and then finding that this natural desire is denied by circumstances that are often outside the control of the phobic personality.
As she sat with herself, she looked within. Retrospection, a guiding light. She looked back at her past life, and her present one. Then it dawned upon her, that loneliness is not a factor that is in her hands to control. It is just like the blue moon, sounding like a myth, but existing all the same. It was a phase, it would pass. She could hold it back temporarily, by indulging in activities, but it would only come back stronger after a while.
This is not the end of the story. There is no end to it. It is something that never dies. Loneliness attaches itself with people at its will. It is in our hands to turn this into solitude, that is willing loneliness… In the words of Pablo Neruda:

If we were not so single-minded
about keeping our lives moving,
and for once could do nothing,
perhaps a huge silence
might interrupt this sadness
of never understanding ourselves
and of threatening ourselves
with death.