DISCLAIMER: If you are someone who is easily offended, then please refer to the footnote before the main article.
Whoever said that this world is made up of all kinds of people really hadn’t lived past the nineties so i bet they wouldn’t know better than to dare group the vast number of stereotypes into a vast, more unified class of “human beings”!! Seriously WTF!?
Our present society thrives on distinction. But then again we all recognize the fact that distinction is only possible to a finite extent. That’s why the medieval society is believed to have stopped at the shudras. Going below that would just mean inventing new and more menial jobs… Bah too much of an effort. But as society evolved, and egos followed suit, the lower castes learned that with the great democracy came some great privileges in the form of protests and riots. As they sprung into action, slowly those distinctions slipped into obsolesce.
Living in a society sans any reason to fight/mock another amongst ourselves was too much for us to bear. Hence we the people began looking around, travelling and learning the variety of cultures that co-existed. Finally great minds sat together and discussed the present scenario and the various records were gathered from the travellers. After years of toil, *EUREKA* we built an infallible division in society. The elders christened it “the Stereotypes”!! *sniff* it was beautiful! An international phenomenon FIRST TIME IN INDIA!! It was an instant attraction.
In the decades that followed (and I wouldn’t be surprised if you still find it pretty “kewl”) the northern-ers seemed to beat the rest of the country at this game by having anecdotes on almost every distinctive class of people. Though the official document went extensively into details regarding every sect and clique possible, due to space constraints i would like to present only a few of the salient features of this governing and all powerful document:
P.S. Do we really mean any of the highly preached principles we talk about in our constitution and other “national integrity” parades? What good is a nation that fights within itself and yet aspires to be a superpower one day. A chain is only as strong as its weakest link, and i assure you friends, our weakest link can be exploited by the slightest of disturbance. To be impenetrable to the outside world, we must at least strongly bond within. I don’t preach of my friend in Kanyakumari and Srinagar meeting every month over a cup of coffee, i just dream of a state where my friend in Mumbai does not vie for the blood of another in Patna. Laughing at ourselves is one thing, as long as we know when to rise above it and stand united. For anyone who felt bad by what was mentioned by their “stereotype”, its out there and that's why i wrote it. If you really got the message you would not feel offended, but instead feel the need for change.
Whoever said that this world is made up of all kinds of people really hadn’t lived past the nineties so i bet they wouldn’t know better than to dare group the vast number of stereotypes into a vast, more unified class of “human beings”!! Seriously WTF!?
Our present society thrives on distinction. But then again we all recognize the fact that distinction is only possible to a finite extent. That’s why the medieval society is believed to have stopped at the shudras. Going below that would just mean inventing new and more menial jobs… Bah too much of an effort. But as society evolved, and egos followed suit, the lower castes learned that with the great democracy came some great privileges in the form of protests and riots. As they sprung into action, slowly those distinctions slipped into obsolesce.
Living in a society sans any reason to fight/mock another amongst ourselves was too much for us to bear. Hence we the people began looking around, travelling and learning the variety of cultures that co-existed. Finally great minds sat together and discussed the present scenario and the various records were gathered from the travellers. After years of toil, *EUREKA* we built an infallible division in society. The elders christened it “the Stereotypes”!! *sniff* it was beautiful! An international phenomenon FIRST TIME IN INDIA!! It was an instant attraction.
In the decades that followed (and I wouldn’t be surprised if you still find it pretty “kewl”) the northern-ers seemed to beat the rest of the country at this game by having anecdotes on almost every distinctive class of people. Though the official document went extensively into details regarding every sect and clique possible, due to space constraints i would like to present only a few of the salient features of this governing and all powerful document:
WE, THE PEOPLE OF INDIA, having solemnly resolved to constitute India into a SOVEREIGN REGIONALIST INTOLERANT CORRUPT REPUBLIC and to secure to all its stereotypes:Further this self- righteous document stated:
A STATE, a geographical land mass that your ancestors settled in and thrust upon you as your “home” and staple reply to “tum kahan se ho?”
LIBERTY of thought, expression, belief, faith and worship; And hence liberty to decide under which pretext you shall be mocked by others
EQUALITY of status and of opportunity; though only within the same clique of stereotypes, do not expect any equality outside of the group you have been stereotyped under
and to promote among them all
FRATERNITY destroying the dignity of the individual and the unity and integrity of the Nation.
The country shall be divided into cliques based on the geographical location of the individual and his origins. The basis for mockery can change dynamically and shall adhere with the basic Human Rights, just so that no gay international institution decides to question our actions.Clearly our society has made major headway in these areas and continues to do so with immense vigour! Long live the Indian Democracy!
There shall exist an imaginary line diving the nation above and including Maharashtra, into the broad “punjabi type” category. The portion of land south to this shall consist of “madrasi type” category. A detailed description and entities comprising each category is herewith enclosed.
The pujabis shall further encompass the stingy marwadis, who are scrupulous in matters of money and despite having the vastest of riches would prefer to come off as extremely poor so as to attract discounts. Another sub-class would be the marathis, with screwed up sense of virtues and Dharma they would come to be the fighting lot. Along the east coast would lie the Bongs, not the instruments of filtering illegal substances, but the instruments of extreme “O”-valisation of words and fish gougers. Above them shall lie the Biharis, the ones who steal the jobs that demand extreme hard-work and low pay, the stupidest children of our motherland who would surprisingly spring up brains only for the most competitive tests in the country, but be really stupid otherwise. Others there would be the violence prone Kashmiri storming around demanding their own independent land where they can be free to explode anything and kill anyone. Also this region would house the UP-ites, hell bent upon raising their statues all over the place. Oh yes, and also the forgotten ones, the north –eastern states. Very isolated, ignored and mostly would be mocked as chinky (a slang for Chinese monkey).
The madarasis would be a thing in themselves. Though not much is known till date about this clique, its an established fact that they would excel in academics, be really dark, and speak funny english (which would still be pretty clean in terms of grammar and semantics, unlike the punjabis). This bunch would be mocked under the pretext of their strange language that serves as a tongue twister for the rest of the country. Apart from this there is very little known on this sect as barely anything they said could be comprehended apart from being visually very humorous.
….
P.S. Do we really mean any of the highly preached principles we talk about in our constitution and other “national integrity” parades? What good is a nation that fights within itself and yet aspires to be a superpower one day. A chain is only as strong as its weakest link, and i assure you friends, our weakest link can be exploited by the slightest of disturbance. To be impenetrable to the outside world, we must at least strongly bond within. I don’t preach of my friend in Kanyakumari and Srinagar meeting every month over a cup of coffee, i just dream of a state where my friend in Mumbai does not vie for the blood of another in Patna. Laughing at ourselves is one thing, as long as we know when to rise above it and stand united. For anyone who felt bad by what was mentioned by their “stereotype”, its out there and that's why i wrote it. If you really got the message you would not feel offended, but instead feel the need for change.
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