There comes a time in every man and, before you start calling me sexist, woman's life (presumably, i cannot definitely say as i have never understood this genre), when they have hated someone so badly and run out of bad things to say about them.... This recent report caught my minds eye, and its for the above described bunch...
Remember, good offensive adjectives are hard to come by... So Reduce, Reuse, Recycle! :D If you are addressing Justin Bieber, you are exempted from the rule!
Pre-requisite: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zaQ0DHTFjUU
The aaarghh is because i could not think of an apt title.
Arrrrghhh..ticle :
There was a tremendous buzz around the oxford hall today, where thousands of adjectives gathered to protest over their indiscriminate and uncalled for association with social rejects. Though not un-common in the area, it caught people’s attention due to the absence of any politician. The move came following people, these days, running out of adjectives to describe douche bags.
The adjectives led by Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, were rallying around in circles. It seems the adjectives had one objective (pun intended if funny), Justice and equality, which may seem like two words but as clarified by Obama through innumerable lectures in Iraq, they are two words one definition. The two nouns could not be found for comment as they were away in Korea (yes, the Koreans are at war… AGAIN!!).
The sudden eruption of emotions was seen as an unavoidable consequence of us humans indiscreetly and mercilessly using up the adjectives, not saving any thought for future generations. According to Indian scientists who migrated to Europe years back, “If this trend continues, we could run out of all offensive adjectives in another 12 years!”. A horribly excruciatingly startling fact!
The rally saw prominent adjectives taking part. Amongst the prominent characters were African-American, which shot to fame following the Obama victory. There were also the whore clique, and the awesome gang. Despite the gravity of the cause there were some big names who could not be found. The Ugly fat-ass clan was away understandably due to a Dolly Bindra press-conference in the vicinity. Abomination, gay and asswipe communities were absent. We assume a Justin Bieber “concert” was the only possible reason for this.
The adjectives all were visibly irritated as they went on chanting noun after noun. The nouns took no offence and were pleased with someone using them so often for a change, apart from a Name Place Animal Thing game.
On being asked for what they thought could be an apt way out of this crisis, they unanimously replied, “Take a page out of asha bhonsle's life. Don't use adjectives to describe your dirty side or erotic side, use nouns... Carry it off.”The characters were referring to a certain song by asha bhonsle in which she apparently morphs into various dairy and animal consumables apart from alcoholic beverages. In the words of the words themselves: "Doodh ban jao, malai ban jao, machhi ban jao, kebab ban jao, botalon mein daal ke sharab ban jao..... But for gods sake keep us out of all this shit"
Though we made them aware that this would put the nouns in danger of extinction and human brains at mortal peril, the adjectives said,”We don't give a syllable's fate in a wannabe's vocabulary...”. a few half eaten syllables, running from the wannabe generation humans, turned to give the adjectives their dirtiest looks, though no-one could make sense of it as they missed half their syllables.
“We shall boycott sentences until concrete steps are taken to safeguard us adjectives”, said the adjective leader whose name we refuse to print due to space constraints. Till then Suresh Kalmadi, A Raja, and General Kapoor can presumably breathe easy as no-one presently has offensive adjectives to use against them.
Remember, good offensive adjectives are hard to come by... So Reduce, Reuse, Recycle! :D If you are addressing Justin Bieber, you are exempted from the rule!
Pre-requisite: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zaQ0DHTFjUU
The aaarghh is because i could not think of an apt title.
Arrrrghhh..ticle :
There was a tremendous buzz around the oxford hall today, where thousands of adjectives gathered to protest over their indiscriminate and uncalled for association with social rejects. Though not un-common in the area, it caught people’s attention due to the absence of any politician. The move came following people, these days, running out of adjectives to describe douche bags.
The adjectives led by Supercalifragilisticexpialidocious, were rallying around in circles. It seems the adjectives had one objective (pun intended if funny), Justice and equality, which may seem like two words but as clarified by Obama through innumerable lectures in Iraq, they are two words one definition. The two nouns could not be found for comment as they were away in Korea (yes, the Koreans are at war… AGAIN!!).
The sudden eruption of emotions was seen as an unavoidable consequence of us humans indiscreetly and mercilessly using up the adjectives, not saving any thought for future generations. According to Indian scientists who migrated to Europe years back, “If this trend continues, we could run out of all offensive adjectives in another 12 years!”. A horribly excruciatingly startling fact!
The rally saw prominent adjectives taking part. Amongst the prominent characters were African-American, which shot to fame following the Obama victory. There were also the whore clique, and the awesome gang. Despite the gravity of the cause there were some big names who could not be found. The Ugly fat-ass clan was away understandably due to a Dolly Bindra press-conference in the vicinity. Abomination, gay and asswipe communities were absent. We assume a Justin Bieber “concert” was the only possible reason for this.
The adjectives all were visibly irritated as they went on chanting noun after noun. The nouns took no offence and were pleased with someone using them so often for a change, apart from a Name Place Animal Thing game.
On being asked for what they thought could be an apt way out of this crisis, they unanimously replied, “Take a page out of asha bhonsle's life. Don't use adjectives to describe your dirty side or erotic side, use nouns... Carry it off.”The characters were referring to a certain song by asha bhonsle in which she apparently morphs into various dairy and animal consumables apart from alcoholic beverages. In the words of the words themselves: "Doodh ban jao, malai ban jao, machhi ban jao, kebab ban jao, botalon mein daal ke sharab ban jao..... But for gods sake keep us out of all this shit"
Though we made them aware that this would put the nouns in danger of extinction and human brains at mortal peril, the adjectives said,”We don't give a syllable's fate in a wannabe's vocabulary...”. a few half eaten syllables, running from the wannabe generation humans, turned to give the adjectives their dirtiest looks, though no-one could make sense of it as they missed half their syllables.
“We shall boycott sentences until concrete steps are taken to safeguard us adjectives”, said the adjective leader whose name we refuse to print due to space constraints. Till then Suresh Kalmadi, A Raja, and General Kapoor can presumably breathe easy as no-one presently has offensive adjectives to use against them.
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment